words by Leah Scheidler
“Are you finally going to get your girl?”
Oh, if I had a dollar for each time I’ve been asked this during my pregnancy by a complete stranger, my sweet husband could retire. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but it has been A LOT. I usually get asked this question when I’m out and about with my two older boys who are running around or playing whenever we are out of the house.
I respond joyfully to the stranger, “Nope! He is our third boy!” and that’s when I get a combined look of shock and pity.
Yes, I said pity.
Sometimes it’s pity in the southern sense of “Oh, bless your heart” and other times it seems to be genuine pity, like they truly feel bad for me that I am going to have three boys.
I’d like to say words don’t affect me, but that’s the opposite of the truth. Their looks and tones, although I’m sure were never ill-intentioned, have really stuck with me and have caused me to analyze and question why God did choose me and my husband to raise these three boys as well as why some people look down upon having only boys.
My boys are wild. I would be lying if I told you anything different. Their baseline energy level is one I could only attain through an IV of Red Bull. They live life to the fullest Every. Single. Day. They don’t walk from point A to point B — they sprint, or jump, or parkour. Walls weren’t meant to hold shelves or pictures, they were meant to be climbed. Floors? Forget about it. Those are made of lava. Our home is a functioning jungle gym and I have had to change my parenting style and expectations solely based on the fact that boys and girls ARE created differently. If anyone wants to argue that, I’m here for it. Let any girl mom borrow my boys for a day and I’m sure it will change their mind! They fully embody the stereotype that raising boys is a crazy job.
And while these boys are wild, they are also so kind. So sweet. So loving. So gentle. So forgiving. The stigma that comes with raising only boys leaves out some of their greatest qualities!
God has entrusted my husband and I with a monumental task — as he does to all parents — but I’m speaking particularly to those of us who raise boys.
These sweet boys, Lord willing, are going to be men one day. Men who will hopefully become loving husbands and daddies. The Lord of our universe has entrusted us to raise up the next generation of godly men, who will be tasked with the responsibility to lead their families in the way of Christ. I’ve often heard that the mark left by believers may not be what we do, but WHO we raise.
I pray that the Holy Spirit will intercede in my boys’ lives and they will not remember a day before they knew the love of Christ and the plan He has for them and their lives. In the meantime, we do our best to instill within them characteristics of godly men: a man of integrity, love, responsibility, understanding, patience, kindness, and self control.
So, fellow boy mommas, I say this to encourage you. Ignore the looks in the grocery store line when our sweet boys are climbing the cart. While our days may be filled with fart jokes and dirty, stinky feet, we are raising future men of the kingdom of God.
I am so thankful God has blessed me with a third boy and with His guidance and a whole lotta grace I hope I can raise them to be His disciples.
In the meantime, I get to rest in my favorite stereotype associated with raising boys — how much they love their momma.
| clemmons, nc |
© traci whitworth photography